on old flames
Tuesday, December 11, 2012In very peachy days such as this one, our abilities are put to the test on how we spend the day. You finally got rid off your workload (or perhaps not), and you still got a long night ahead of you. You get to have your 'me-time'. After you have done all humanly possible things out of sheer boredom -- say, watched a film about musical penguins or New York mobsters beating each other all the way to Hell's Kitchen, played NBA or FIFA for several hours -- the thing is, once you stop what you're doing, you'll be alone with your mind. You'll start to think about him, or her. "What could she be doing?", "Does he think of me?", "Does she like me too?", "I miss him so much".. Sentimentality. It's the most dangerous thing that isolation brings.
It's going to be happy and sad, according to that Mandy Moore song. Love, that said universal force in which according to a lot of artists sing about -- "Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you," -- ANYWAY. The point is, love seems to have a very firm hold on everyone.
While some are so competitively playing, fishing within the dating realm, some are caught up with the nostalgia, hopelessly trying to rekindle old flames. Missing. Longing. Yearning. To an extent, the rekindling part just becomes ridiculous and painful. It is true, we are all fools in love. You, being the sentimental person you are, become a curator, always staring at 'ancient artifacts', lingering on memories and re-watch them like old movies. You remember the things that person did for you -- she made you homemade chocolates, he sang to you, she played video games with you, he wrote you poetry, and more terabytes-worth of memories your mind replays. Re-reading letters and love notes he sent to you, taking scent of that gift wrapper she used for your birthday gift, keeping the movie tickets you watched together, photographs, all the sentimental stuff in which you deem your 'treasures' is undeniably wonderful and admirable (but technically they're garbage already). But you don't keep them to make you cry buckets; they only become worth keeping for you to laugh and smile about.
There's nothing wrong about being sentimental.. as long as it doesn't hold you back. Whatever you may have gone through in the past, no matter how great and grand of a love story it was, it's insanely ridiculous to keep pursuing that old flame when all odds are against you. "He's the only one for me", "I'll never find someone like her", you will eat the similar things you tell your friends, because you'll definitely find that person who'll make you smile.
You'll get hurt and screw up again, but you will realize that all those blunders and emotional turmoil were worth taking once you got the timing right. Indeed, love is always going to be happy and sad. But being happy, is the most important of all.
You will love again, and it's not going to be that person again nor is it going to be someone you ideally pictured yourself with. And that person who will ease out your weary heart, will come the least you expected. ♥
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